Sunday, September 21, 2008

Allowing myself. . .

Tonight I "allowed myself" to think/feel about things that I have been actively trying to block. This has led to missing someone. . .and wishing that feelings were requited. I'm just still confused about a good deal of things surrounding this topic. It has not been discussed at any great length for weeks until the subject was breached on the bus on the way home yesterday. Things I wonder about:
*why do I have (still have) these feelings?
*why were certain things said if there were no intentions?
*is there anything else I can do?
*how long will I continue to be "stuck" in this mindset?

Thankfully, I'm not miserable - as I had been in previous months from time to time about this, but I still have a "hole" or what not that aches when I "allow" myself to really think about this. Sigh. Man.

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